Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
