i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
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