garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
