i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
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