I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
