Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
