East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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