Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize