Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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