True but thats because hes a fetus.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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