I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
