then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
