I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
