You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
