I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
