but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
