Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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