would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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