girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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