pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize