You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
