The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
