Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
