im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
