He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Randomize
