I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
