yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
