I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
