Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Don't make out with my wife yet
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
