in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
We are all done wearing pants today
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
