yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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