I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
