watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
