No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize