i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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