i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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