We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
