Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
