i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
