sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
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