just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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