if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
