she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
