Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
COCAINE IS GR8
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Randomize
