You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Randomize
