So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Randomize
