i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
