Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
So apparently I’m into choking now
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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