i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
