SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
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Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
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Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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