Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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