That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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