I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
