did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
