Can i not drive my cunt home
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
she looked like the before picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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