They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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