u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Randomize
