he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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