Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
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