I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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