Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Randomize
