My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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