A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
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I want her autograph on my taint
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
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He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.