I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
It's Friday. Sex?
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
