We need to rekindle our bromance
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.