Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
I used to kick so much ass
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live