margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.