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• (410): View more from Maryland

  A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.

  (410): View more from Maryland

  and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.

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• (320): View more from Minnesota

  A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.

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• 

  25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In

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• (573): View more from Missouri

  I want her autograph on my taint

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.

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• (207): View more from Maine

  Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.

  (1-720): View more from Colorado

  You sound pretty unsure about all of this.

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• (607): View more from New York

  I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!

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• 

  These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever

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• (647): View more from Ontario

  He was the one that got away. From my vagina.

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly

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• (512): View more from Texas

  I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.

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