So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Randomize
