stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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