At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
