Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
