he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
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he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
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You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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