oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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